CHIN's

Luke becomes friends with a curmudgeon old neighbor, which does not please Phil and Claire. Meanwhile, Gloria and Manny try to get Jay to join them at the symphony, but in an attempt to avoid the concert, he instead ends up with Mitchell and Cameron on their "boys' night out" while Haley babysits for Lily.

Claire runs herself ragged trying to fix the relationship between Haley and Alex, while Phil sneaks off to the spa. Meanwhile, Gloria is horrified by Jay's morbid plans to purchase two side-by-side crypts in preparation of their death, and Cameron decides he wants to write a book that celebrates the fact that Lily is adopted, but soon learns something new.

Phil and Claire have a huge fight and Phil hasn't a clue as to what it was over, so Gloria steps in to counsel Phil while Jay counsels Claire. Meanwhile, Jay has some regret in buying Gloria a karaoke machine, and Cameron is in full prep mode for a huge fund-raising event and asks Mitchell and Luke for help.

The guest list for Lily's princess-themed birthday party gets a little out of hand when Mitchell decides to invite his mom, much to Claire's dismay, and disinvite Fizbo, much to Cameron's dismay. Things get even more strange when DeDe shows up with Claire's old high school boyfriend in tow, and Jay and Gloria each turn to their own unique methods of dealing with this gathering of misfits.

Claire and Phil decide to reprise their role-playing adventure from last year's Valentine's Day. Meanwhile, Jay's surprise plans for Gloria keeps getting interrupted, and a secret admirer comes between Cameron and Mitchell.

It's Phil and Claire's anniversary, and when the kids go to surprise them with breakfast in bed, they get a surprise of their own. Jay and Gloria's plans for a Vegas vacation are ruined because of a brutally honest email accidentally sent to Claire, and Mitchell and Cam try to get into a new restaurant owned by a mom at Lily's preschool.

Phil and Claire pressure Alex to ease back on her school work, but begin to worry about their own intellectual drives. Meanwhile, Jay is upset when Gloria tries to befriend a new couple, and Mitchell runs into an old female flame.

Claire becomes a determined neighborhood vigilante hoping to catch and stop a menacing car that speeds though their streets. Meanwhile, Phil is busy trying to land an important listing with a difficult client, Jay teaches Manny how to ride a bike — only to learn Gloria needs lessons too — and Mitchell and Cameron stumble upon a mysterious neighbor who is quite the charmer.

At Luke and Manny's first school dance, Jay and Phil take them to the mall which turns disastrous, Claire's happiness turns into jealousy when Gloria joins the school dance committee. Meanwhile, Cameron and Mitchell learn about Lily biting other kids at the playground.

Mitchell tries to tell Cameron how he feels uncomfortable with his mom, Barb Tucker. Meanwhile, Haley breaks up with Dylan much to Phil's dismay and Claire's delight. Jay has a little stomach ache that gets exacerbated when he and Manny look it up on the Internet.